


Never Knew Loving Could Hurt This Good

by DamsInDistress



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 09:59:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7217956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamsInDistress/pseuds/DamsInDistress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he was a fool for falling in love or maybe he was a fool for trying to fight love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WILD

Max tries hard not to fall for the other man but Carlos' beautiful brown eyes and warm smile make it so hard not to. The way his lips would curve when Max says something funny makes his heart feel like it's about to burst and his own smile creeping on the edge of his lips. 

Tries not to fall for the way he looks when he's in the simulator in Faenza, trying out a new circuit or getting ready for the next race. The way his eyes were focused in front of him when he's in the zone. The small smirk that graces his lips when he's told that he was faster than Max. The warmth of his hands that seems to spread across Max's body when they high-five or when their fingers brush as they look over data. 

He tries not to fall for when he climbs out of his car after quali or the race and Carlos is there to give him a hug or a pat on the back. Tries to fight the smile when he's told by his teammate that he did a good job and he would say the same back to the Spaniard. Tries to fight the feeling of glee with how they just naturally gravitate towards each other during the driver's parade as they wait for the bus to arrive and as they wave to the fans. How it brings him a sense of comfort and calm that Carlos was right next to him. 

He tries his best not to fall when he invites Carlos to his apartment in Monaco now that he's finally finished moving in. Tries to fight the butterflies in his stomach as Carlos hugs him before handing him a housewarming gift. He tries to hide how giddy he really is as they work side by side in his new kitchen as they make dinner. The way their legs would rest against each others as they watch movies on the couch before bed. Max tries not to shiver as he feels Carlos' stubble rub against his neck as he hugs him goodnight before disappearing into the guest room. 

Max tries not to slip up when they go for a hike in the morning. Laughing and messing around as they make their way up the hill. Half-way to the top, Carlos takes of his shirt and pours some of his water down on himself and Max tries to turn away as he swallows the lump on his throat and take a deep breath to calm himself. They eventually reach the top and they take their time to admire the view. "Beautiful." Max hears Carlos whisper as he looks down at Monte Carlo and the sea. "Yeah." Max says, his eyes on Carlos and couldn't fight the words from escaping his lips. Carlos sits down on the ground before turning around to beckon Max over to sit next to him. Max sits down next to the Spaniard and Carlos moves closer so he can rest his head on Max's shoulder. 

They stay that way for no one knows how long before they stand back up again. Max hears Carlos giggle as he looks at the Spaniard. "Your hair's a mess." Carlos says before he moves forward to brush Max's sweaty locks away from his face. Max fights the shiver making its way down his spine as Carlos rakes his fingers through his hair. He feels hands make their way up to his cheek as his eyes stay on Carlos' face. He watches his eyes flicker from his eyes towards his lips before smiling at Max. Max doesn't know when Carlos stepped closer until they were breathing into each other's space and Max feels the warm thumb caressing his cheek making it's way down to his lips. He was so close and he wants him so bad, but this was not the place for anything to happen. Carlos continues to trace Max's lips with his thumb before Max opens his lips to gently bite down. "Not here." Max says, his voice raspy, as he lets go of Carlos' thumb and planting a quick kiss on his cheek.

They rush back to Max's apartment, their dark eyes roaming across each other's body and face, as they let their feet carry them back home. Max feels Carlos' hand on his hip as he fumbles with his keys, cursing under his breath as he struggles to open it. Once the door was open, Max barely had time to think as he finds himself pressed up against his own front door, Carlos' face looming over his. He feels a warm hand go under his shirt, rubbing circles against his hip and he feels shivers wrack through his body. He hears Carlos let out a chuckle before he nuzzles against Max's neck. Max felt like he was going mad. Carlos was everywhere and yet he was yet to lay his lips on him, on anywhere on him, it was driving him wild. Carlos looks back up at Max, his eyes dark, as he moves so that their lips were a breath away from each other. "Tell me what you want." Carlos says, his warm breath tickling Max's lips. "You." Max says before he surges forward and closes the gap between them.


	2. FOOLS

Max couldn't take his eyes off of the sleeping man beside him. Carlos was laying on his stomach, his hair framing his face perfectly even in his sleep as he softy snores. He still couldn't believe everything that happened yesterday, how it was only a few hours ago that he was blissed out in the most spectacular way thanks to the man beside him.

They kissed against his front door for what felt like forever before Carlos leads them towards his bathroom for a shower. Carlos turns on the water and gets it up to temperature before turning his attention back to Max. He leans in for another kiss before he slowly pulls up Max's shirt, telling him how beautiful he was with every inch of creamy white skin exposed. Carlos steps back to take his shorts off before stepping under the spray of warm water, running his hands through his slick hair down to his body before grinning wickedly at Max and crooks a finger asking him to join in. Max hurries to strip his own shorts off before he finds his arms full of Carlos, hot and slick from the water, their skin rubbing against each other in the most delicious way as their lips seek out each other's. 

Max finds himself pressed up against the cold shower wall as Carlos' hands work on washing him before he returns the favor. After rinsing the suds out of their bodies, Carlos turns to join their lips again. Max was so caught up with the kiss that he didn't notice where Carlos' hands have wandered down as the Spaniard presses their bodies closer as he takes them both in his hands. Max gasps against Carlos' lips as he looks down at Carlos working them both frantically. He wasn't going to last and he was glad he was leaning against the wall as he feels his knees wobble as Carlos bring the both of them to the edge. Max feels Carlos rest their foreheads together as he slowly opens his eyes to stare into Carlos' sparkling brown ones. They share small kisses in between trying to catch their breaths. "Good?" Carlos asks as he moves to help Max get his footing back. "Very." Max says as he gives him a quick kiss. They help each other dry off before brushing their teeth. Carlos had one arm around Max's waist as they brush their teeth together, sharing minty-fresh kisses after and giggling like kids as they climb in bed. 

Max feels Carlos stir from beside him as he watches the Spaniard open his eyes. Max brushes away the hair covering his eyes as Carlos smiles at him. "Morning." Carlos says as he smiles at Max. "Good morning." Max says back before moving closer until their noses brush against each others. It was Carlos who made the move to press their lips together. The kiss was lazy, still waking up, but Max could feel himself slowly waking up in more ways than one. "Wanna go for a swim?" Max asks as he breaks the kiss. Carlos nods yes and they spend a good ten minutes dragging each other out of bed, not wanting to be away from the other's touch for more than a while. They change in front of each other, mostly to tease each other, as Max licks his lips as Carlos puts on his swim shorts. Max grabs two towels after he finishes changing and drags Carlos out of his apartment and make their way up to the pool of his apartment building at the very top.

They make it to the pool and thinks about locking the door so no one disturbs them but he doesn't want to cause trouble so he leaves it unlocked as he closes it. He throws the towels on one of the loungers around the pool as Carlos tests out the water with his toes. Max was just kicking off his flip-flops when he feels arms around him and spin him towards the pool. He hears Carlos' laughter and what sounds like a little yelp that was probably from him. Once his feet are back on the ground he turns around and starts smacking the laughing Spaniard. "Not funny!" Max says with a pout but he eventually follows Carlos who was waiting for him half-way in the pool. Max eventually gets in, glad the water wasn't so cold, as he starts to swim around. He feels the water shift as Carlos joins him. They do a few laps to get some exercise in before they end up mucking around and splashing each other. They try to race each other but they would just end up cheating to win and laugh it off. 

"Let's see who can hold their breath longer." Carlos says with a cheeky smile as Max nods. They both take a deep breath before diving in together. Max tries to open his eyes underwater as he sees Carlos trying to make his way towards him. Carlos reaches for his hand before he pulls Max close to him and strokes the side of his face. Max eventually comes up for air as Carlos still holds him. They were both panting, trying to take in as much air as they can to sooth their burning lungs. Max sees Carlos still heaving to catch his breath before he spins him around and crushes their lips together. Their raged breathing making it hard for them but none of them wants to let the other go. "Sit up on the edge." Max says breathlessly before he shoots Carlos a wicked grin. Carlos does what he's told before Max stands in front of him still in the pool. Max gave him no warning before he reaches for his swim shorts and starts moving his hand. "Max." Carlos bites out. "Shh." Max says before he takes Carlos in his mouth in one go and Carlos had to try his best to not make too much noise but Max was making it extremely hard. Carlos weaves his fingers through Max's hair to keep him there, never once breaking eye contact. "Fuck." Carlos rasps out as Max swallows around him, his throat tight and warm and perfect. "Close." Carlos almost whispers as he feels himself let go and Max feels warmth coat the back of his throat before letting Carlos go with a pop. 

"Get up here." Carlos says as he all but drags Max up next to him on the edge of the pool. He crushes their lips before he digs his hands in Max's swim shorts and works him frantically. Max gasps and Carlos takes it as an opportunity to lick up whatever's left of him in Max's mouth along with the younger man's moans. Max breaks away from Carlos as he feels warm wetness spread in his shorts. "Fuck." Max gasps out as he watches Carlos lick his fingers clean. They try to catch their breath as they hold each other close before they dry themselves and make their way back to Max's apartment. Max wrinkles his nose as he's finally able to take off his swim shorts and jump in the shower. Carlos joins him a few minutes later, just helping each other wash up, as their poolside activities were enough, for now. They don't bother with clothes after their shower, settling for just their underwear as they set on eating brunch. 

The rest of the day was spent as close to each other as possible. Watching movies and doing things around the apartment. Max helps Carlos pack his clothes for his flight back to London the next day and he feels a wave of loneliness hit him. They haven't really talked about anything, what they are to each other, what they want to be. If it was just for this weekend and never again. He feels arms around him which shakes him from his thoughts. "You're thinking too hard." Carlos says against his neck as he breaths in the scent of Max. "How do you know?" Max asks him, his voice between teasing and curious. "Same way I know I love you." Carlos says and Max had to turn around to face him for that. "I just know. Like when something just feels right and it doesn't need an explanation. I don't want this to be just a one time thing, that's the last thing I want this to be." Carlos says as he holds on to Max's arm.

Max doesn't know what surprises him more, the fact that Carlos loves him or that he just so casually knows it and admits it. That's one of the things he envies from Carlos, how he's so sure of himself but never in the arrogant way. Maybe he's ignored his own feelings for so long that he doesn't know what to do with it even if it's right in front of him. The chance that he'd been secretly hoping, wishing for is right in front of him now and he'd be a fool not to take it. Damn everything else, because he wants this so badly. Wants the happiness that only being with Carlos brings him, wants a future with him by his side. It seems foolish in the long run, with how young they are and their careers ahead of them but, fuck that, he doesn't want to give up the one thing that makes him truly happy. "You mean that?" Max asks, his voice sounding small. "When have I lied to you Maxy?" Carlos asks with a smile. "Never." Max says as he shakes his head and buries his face against Carlos' chest. He presses his head against his chest, next to his heart, taking comfort in the steady beating thinking that maybe if he listens close enough maybe he'll hear his own name. He feels Carlos wrap his arms around him, their bare torso's making it feel more intimate and real. "I love you." Max says against Carlos' chest and he feels his fingers weave through his hair. He lets out a soft sigh as he feels himself smile, finally able to admit what he's been so sure of for so long. 

That night, they spent in bed together. Carlos taking care of Max, making it good for him. They had all the time in the world to tease each other, memorize every line, every freckle, the way their skin felt under their lips. It was like meeting each other again for the first time. Max could feel Carlos smiling against his skin with every gasp that escapes his lips as the Spaniard murmurs how beautiful he is. Max was left grasping his sheets as he feels the hot wetness of Carlos' mouth take him as his fingers trail lower as he opens him up. He was left mewling and panting before Carlos lets him go and make his way back up to join their lips together. They break apart as their eyes lock on each others as Carlos enters him and Max felt like he was in another world. This wasn't just about sex or making love, it was the two of them being completely together, at last, and he feels himself getting overwhelmed by everything all at once and it wasn't until Carlos started moving that he felt like he was free falling back to earth and he knew that Carlos was there to catch him. He tries to keep his eyes open, focusing on Carlos, the beads of sweat forming on his brow, his hair still as perfect as ever and he almost wants to laugh until Carlos hits that spot that makes him see stars and he lets out a moan and hears a small chuckle from the man above him as he keeps hitting that spot. "Too much, I can't." Max chokes out, surprised that he could still form words as he feels Carlos' hand move between them and wrap around him. "Together." Carlos says as he ups his pace and Max moans louder. "Fuck, Carlos." Max could almost feel tears spill from his eyes as he feels his whole body shudder and tense. Carlos lets out a groan as he tries not to collapse on top of Max. They lay together trying to catch their breaths, sprawled out in bed next to each other, bits of them touching each other perfectly happy where they are. 

They wake up the next day with the biggest smile on their faces until they remember that Carlos had to go back home. They shower together, grinding against each other and making out under the hot water, before they have breakfast. When it was time for them to travel to the airport, Max finds himself pressed against his front door once again, the exact same way everything started, as Carlos kisses him for all he's worth. It was like them saying everything all at once without uttering a word. It was their _"I'll miss you, I'll see you soon, I want you, I need you, I don't want to let go yet"_ all in one go. "I love you." Carlos says against his lips as they slowly break apart. "I love you too." Max says as he throws himself at Carlos who wraps his arms around him, his head pressed against his chest as he listens once more to his heart beating for him.


	3. TALK ME DOWN

Max was sorting out things around his apartment. Finally home after a crazy few weeks on the road. He looks around at his still mostly bare apartment, besides the basic furnitures and his trophies, he doesn't really have much to fill up the place. 

He heads to his kitchen, how he's had to learn how to cook for himself but still maintain his diet, he looks at the pots and pans his mother got for him and the set of plates his sister help pick out still in their boxes, a small smile spreads on his face as be runs his hands across them. He checks his fridge if anything's gone bad and huffs when he realizes that it was empty apart from water and Red Bull. He sighs before closing it and making his way out of his flat to head to the grocery.

Max was double checking his mental list as he counts what's in the cart in front of him. He smiles to himself when he manages to grab everything he needed before heading to the check out counter. He sighs when he sees the line but he doesn't really have a choice and queues up. He looks down at his cart, how he now buys almost double the amount of things than what he did before. How he has to buy two of kinds of certain things and double up the other. He notices the carton of orange juice next to the apple juice, the stick of deodorant that's not really for him next to a can of aerosol one. The weird coconut conditioner that he doesn't really use unless he misses a certain Spaniard with beautiful, perfect hair. The two bottles of shower gel that he's now switched to and how Carlos would tease him that they now smell the same but he'll just shake his head and burry his head deeper into his chest as he drowns himself in Carlos' scent, something that's just uniquely him under the fruity smell of the shower gel. How it's not really a bad thing for him to end up smelling like him, how it makes him feel warm on the inside like he has Carlos' arms around him.

He smiles at the lady as he picks up his bags and head to his car to go back home. He wonders if Carlos would have gotten home before him or if he'll arrive later. Home. Max has always used that term to describe wherever he's currently living but he never really understood that it could have a deeper meaning. The whole _'home is where the heart is'_ deal was something that he never really bothered with. Even when he picked out his apartment, he never really got the feeling of thinking that it was _the one_ out of all the apartments he looked at. He picked it because it was somewhere that people wouldn't bother him and the added bonus of having Daniel and Felipe close was not really a bad deal.

But now that Carlos was spending more and more time with him at home, how he's slowly made a space for him in Max's apartment, in his closet, on the counter of his bathroom, how Max now shops for the both of them, it makes him wonder if this is what's it like to feel that way about a place. That home isn't just somewhere where all your important belonging are and where you sleep at when you don't have work. How he wouldn't have called his apartment home if it wasn't for Carlos, maybe that's what home is. It could be his apartment in Monaco or a bare hotel room half-way across the world. Home is him pressing himself against Carlos' chest to drown in his scent, home is them feeding each other toast during breakfast, home is going to bed and waking up next to the man he loves. 

Max parks his car in the basement of his apartment building before getting the grocery out of the boot. He gets on the lift and presses the number to his floor as he tries not to drop his bags. When he gets to his front door, he notices that it was open as he turns the handle. He spots a familiar backpack on one end of the couch as he make his way towards his kitchen where he can hear rustling. He smiles when he sees Carlos rooting around the fridge with a bottle of water in hand. "Hey." Carlos greets him with a huge smile as Max puts down his bags on the counter top. "Hey back." Max says as he makes his way towards Carlos and the Spaniard has his arms around his waist once he could reach him. Max puts his arms around Carlos' neck, his fingers running through the ends of his hair. They stand there together just enjoying the feeling of having each other back in their arms before Carlos rubs their noses together and Max chuckles. It was Max who finally presses their lips together. It was slow and sweet, savoring every bit of contact their lips make. They're both home now, they have all the time in the world for anything else later but for now they'll take this. When they break apart, Max buries his head against Carlos' chest, seeking out the familiar scent and inhaling deeply, he turns his head up and smiles. "Welcome home."

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Troye Sivan's Blue Neighbourhood.


End file.
